Celebrity Birthdays: May 28

starwipe-logo-48bcb1c06ee7

As per her contract with Motown Records, we are legally required to send all birthday wishes intended for Gladys Knight to Berry Gordy.

Berry Gordy’s Gladys Knight is 72!

Through protest songs like “Have You Ever Seen The Rain?” and “Who’ll Stop The Rain,” he has dedicated his life to fighting a natural phenomenon he does not fully understand.

John Fogerty is 71!

[Read the full article online at The Onion’s StarWipe.]

Gwen and Blake are So In Love They May Be Paying People To Spread The Word

starwipe-logo-48bcb1c06ee7

Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton—two popular singers and reality stars who, by the grace of fate, found each other just in time for their albums’ promotional cycles to begin—are deeply and demonstrably in love, according to the near-hourly updates in our inbox. But theirs is a love that cannot be captured by mere words, nor Instagram posts, nor magazine covers, nor TV interviews, nor televised duets, nor album singles available now on iTunes for a mere $1.29. In fact, the couple so want the whole world to know of their deep, authentic affection for each other, they may be paying people to promote it on social media.

[Read the full article at The Onion’s StarWipe.]

Contractually Required Note: I am a Headline Contributor at StarWipe. This article was written in collaboration with other StarWipe writers.

7 Pop Songs That Turn Creepy When You Know Who Wrote Them

YKRK0FD

When we hear that Pharrell Williams co-wrote 43 percent of the songs played on the radio in 2004, or that Dr. Luke wrote virtually every hit song in 2014, we’re barely even surprised. If anything, we’re just glad that every credits box doesn’t say “LyricsBot2000” yet. And besides, it makes no difference who wrote the song as long as it’s good, right? Actually, in some cases, it makes all the difference. Here are seven famous songs that take on a whole new meaning when you find out who wrote them — with implications that range from the fascinating to the terrifying.

[Read the full article on Cracked.]

10 First World Problems of ISIS Members

listverse-bcc-logo

ISIS is a new type of terrorist group. Where Al-Qaeda was satisfied with the simple joys of slaughtering infidels’ children and destroying their propaganda machines, ISIS actually wants our kids to join them—and they’re happy to use Twitter to do it. The really strange part is that it works. People from first world countries actually listen to ISIS and willingly leave their homes in pursuit of the better life that they imagine comes with living with a terrorist group in a Syrian slum.

Thanks to Twitter and their letters home, we get to hear these people talk about their experiences. As it turns out, terrorist recruits have the same first world problems as a freshman on vacation in South America.

[Read the full article at Listverse.]

10 Ways Scientists Are Working To Make You Lazy

listverse-bcc-logo

Since the first man stepped out of his cave and into the sunlight, we’ve striven to never again repeat that horrible experience.

Through the millennia, we’ve tried many ways to avoid the terrors of going outside or having to slightly move our muscles. The Egyptians tried using slave labor, but alas, the slaves complained and ran away. The Europeans brought us the Industrial Revolution, but still, we were forced to sit at machines and flip a bunch of switches.

Even now, scientists are still striving toward this goal. We’re constantly coming up with new innovations, all in the hopes of eliminating the need to use our arms to pick things up . . . and we’re getting closer every day.

[Read the full article on Listverse.]

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.